Some things get better with age, and some things don’t. Take this classic, for example:
I’m pretty sure when I first saw the movie, I didn’t spend the entire scene thinking about the following four points:
- That net must have been pretty god damn low if Tom Cruise was spiking over it;
- The fast cuts in the scene are so bad that they might have been edited by a capuchin monkey;
- Playing in those thick long pants must have been mighty uncomfortable;
- Goose kind of looks like Peyton Manning in a child molester costume
Chalk this one up in the “did not age well” column. Hopefully, these Portland FFL recaps, which are now in year five (but are on a website for the first time) do not suffer the same fate. After all, I now have multimedia and other fun (joique) bells and whistles at my disposal.
Another thing that apparently has aged well: Matthew Thomas Ryan. Continue reading
Annnnnnnd… we’re off! Team-by-team and playoff predictions for the 2014 NFL season:
Atlanta Falcons: A solid year from a solid team in a solid division. Yawn. 8-8
Carolina Panthers: Cam “Isaac” Newton blows some teams away but battles injuries all year, ultimately leading to a disappointing first-round loss. 10-6
New Orleans Saints: Marques Colston officially turns into a metronome as he logs yet another 70 catch, 1,000 yard, 8 TD season to little fanfare. 11-5
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: A transition year by the bay, with plenty of friskiness showing through. 5-11
Link to the first installment, which includes an explanation of what’s going on here.
Moscow: San Antonio Spurs
Moscow is a strange duck. It has many older but recognizable features like the iconic St. Basil’s Cathedral and the Seven Sisters, as well as cultural touchstones like the Kremlin and Red Square. This echoes the robust history of the original ABA San Antonio Spurs and its unique and irreplaceable characters like George “Iceman” Gervin. But the city’s actual skyline is dominated, in particular, by a cluster of modern towers that stand apart from the historic underbelly. Continue reading
Why Lionel Messi should thank Michael Phelps, and other ramblings about historical legacies.
It was a chance to stand beside, if not pass, his country’s greatest soccer star. A rare moment, in his prime, when he could take full advantage of his singular talent. A golden opportunity to enter the rarefied air of the consensus all-time greatest sporting legends. Messi (with a massive assist from an excellent defense) made his Argentina squad relevant, at times impregnable, and nearly unbeaten at this World Cup. But in the end, once the comfort of the group stages were behind him, he looked all too ordinary and could not quite inspire his countrymen to glory. Even though he dazzled with his usual mesmerizing dribbles and pristine shots, and even though Argentina made it farther than most expected them to, and even though he was even awarded with the 2014 World Cup Golden Ball (best player) award, many will judge this World Cup as a detriment to Messi’s legacy rather than a benefit. It’s illogical. It’s not fair. It’s also sure to happen. Just look at his face below — despondent for his country’s loss, and surely aware of its ramifications for him as an individual. Here’s why that’s a bunch of bull.
Photo credit: Clive Rose, Getty Images
Maybe it’s all an elaborate toothpaste advertisement. Maybe his scoring prowess is derived from some form of medieval cannibalism. Maybe he has a “taste” for the dramatic. Regardless, the Luis Suarez clown show marches on. Suarez, a singular talent and loose cannon who plies his trade for Liverpool and, more relevantly, for his native Uruguay, has been a rising star on the world soccer scene for several years. He has scored fantastic goals, energized successful teams, enraged onlookers with flops, and nearly exploded the soccer world four years ago with his strategic handball that bought Uruguay a ticket to the semifinals at the 2010 World Cup. Now, four days after receiving a four-month ban from soccer, as well as a nine-match international ban and a large fine from FIFA for biting his World Cup group stage Italian opponent Giorgio Chiellini, the Uruguayan striker is making waves again, this time for an apology.
Photo credit: Getty Images
First, some background. Soon after the incident, Suarez was unapologetic (to say the least). More specifically, he denied the bite and claimed that he had “lost his balance” and not actually attempted to nosh on the Italian entree in front of him. This claim did not exactly ring true for me, and, presumably, for whatever percentage of the observing public is not from Uruguay. The primary factor working against Suarez, other than the fact that he obviously freakin’ bit Chiellini, is that, as you surely know by now, he had already been suspended twice in his career for biting opposing players. In April of last year, Suarez was banned for 10 games for nibbling on Chelsea’s Branislav Ivanovic, whose Serbian flesh was simply too irresistible for the clearly hungry Suarez. He issued an apology for that incident, saying he had committed “inexcusable behavior.” In 2010, he munched PSV’s Ottman Bakkal during a play stoppage. That particular bite involved an absolutely unequivocal lunge toward Bakkal’s trapezius muscle that legitimately made it seem like Suarez was seeking nutrients from the victim’s jugular. Continue reading
He might be the least celebrated soccer legend of all time, at least on this side of the Atlantic. Even though World Cup coverage is everywhere these days, and even though he plays for one of the most prominent national teams in the world, 36 year old Polish-born German striker Miroslav Klose gets about as little attention in the United States as possible, considering he is tied for the all time record for World Cup goals.
Klose’s recent goal as a sub in the 2-2 draw between Germany and Ghana was his 15th, tying him with Brazilian legend Ronaldo. He also has a few more achievements and oddities to his name. He won the Golden Boot for most goals at the 2006 World Cup. He is one of only two players to have scored five goals at two different World Cups. He is the only player to have scored four goals at three different World Cups. He is one of only three players to have scored at four different World Cups. He recently passed Gerd Muller as the all time top scorer for the German national team. He once scored five goals in a game while playing in the Italian Serie A. He was the 2006 German footballer of the year.
His record tying goal came on Ronaldo’s home soil against Ghana, while Ronaldo’s 15th goal had come on German soil against Ghana. Klose’s career smacks of “chosen one” status, and he seems to simply be the type of player who rises to the occasion on the biggest stage. In this way, he is very similar to Landon Donovan, and stands as a primary argument for why Donovan perhaps should have been included on the 2014 U.S. roster — some fellas just show up. Indeed, according to Wikipedia, the German national team has never lost a game when Klose has scored one of his 70 international goals.
So why the hell haven’t Americans heard of him?
Also starring Chris “Dubya” Bosh…
Recently, balls have been flying around and out of Coors Field like the cards at the end of a Solitaire game.
One big reason is that the best player in baseball (no, not Mike Trout), has been unleashing hell all spring. That player is an unstoppable force of Polish descent at the foot of the Rocky Mountains. Troy Tulowitzki, the Colorado Rockies’ “large” shortstop in the grand tradition of his idol Derek Jeter and Cal Ripken, has quietly been putting together one of the greatest starts in decades. And although the Rockies don’t tend to get much press on the coasts, it has become impossible to ignore the greatest shortstop of his generation. At least, while he stays healthy.
Photo credit: USATSI
Although he is splashed across the headlines this week, the Los Angeles Clippers’ longtime owner and agitator has had less than a “Sterling” reputation for some time.
Believe it or not, Donald Sterling is currently the longest tenured NBA owner. That is, until NBA Commissioner Adam Silver convinces three-quarters of the other NBA owners (22 out of 29) to force a sale of the Clippers, after which he’ll just be a forlorn billionaire business magnate who will (likely) profit more than $1 billion upon the team being sold. Not even Clippers numbers guru Cliff Paul knows the bounds of Sterling’s pocketbook. You can almost hear the gold plated violin playing over his left shoulder.
There is a pretty strong consensus that Sterling is a bad dude and a general stench on the Clippers organization. Over the years, he has been involved in several discrimination lawsuits, notably involving both his copious real estate investments (with allegations that his rental philosophies fell…let’s just say shy of Fair Housing Act standards) as well as a high profile employment discrimination suit brought by former Clippers executive and Lakers legend Elgin Baylor, alleging racially charged remarks and disparate treatment along racial lines. He allegedly called Baron Davis a bastard. He has been involved in shady business practices. He has been accused of racist statements on many occasions. His fans find him creepy. His posture is terrible. But the lifetime ban and $2.5 million fine levied on Sterling, announced today by Silver in response to the outrage over recordings in which Sterling made racist remarks, is still fundamentally surprising. After all, powerful people tend to squeak by these obstacles. You rarely see heads roll when it comes to rich folk in the private sector.
“In this country, you’re guilty until you’re proven wealthy.” — Bill Maher
There has been an invisible war raging for a decade and a half, not unlike the invisible war being waged between spam messages and your email filter. The San Antonio Spurs have been battling age, irrelevance, and history. Somehow, the “boring,” un-hip, small market basketball team from central Texas has become the most historically fascinating sports franchise of our era. In other words, they’re winning the war.
Photo credit: Garrett Ellwood, Getty Images
As you probably know, players generally grow old, rosters turn over, and partnerships grow stale. Teams fluctuate. A team might be at the top of the league, then crash out of the playoffs, then stumble back in and lose in the first round a couple times, then lose in the Finals, then win a couple titles, then lose early for three years, then crash again and miss the playoffs with no relief in sight. That’s the profile of the Lakers for the past twelve years or so. They have been all over the place. And that “all over the place” resume is easily one of the most successful teams in the entire NBA over that stretch.
Most teams are more like the Orlando Magic. A few All Stars here and there. Some coaches fired. An unexpected Finals trip in 2009. A few early and mid-playoff exits. A few terrible years. So it goes in a competitive league of 30 teams with a salary cap.
And then there are the Spurs. Continue reading